Stressed.

The title of this blog pretty much sums up how I feel today.
Stressed.

I know I just wrote a blog about how happy I am (or trying to be) and how I have everything that I need, which is true. I'm also not here to whine or complain (well....maybe a little bit). I'm mostly just really frustrated and stressed out today about one simple thing that I wish we as a society could just demolish...

Money. Dirty, cold, annoying money.

I understand that that is a completely ridiculas request in most respects, but gosh darn it, it's so frustrating!

Being a student, I have an enormous amount of debt. So much so that I will not scare anyone who's reading this, but just know it's much more then any one person should ever dream of accumulating over a lifetime, let alone gaining over the course of 3 years (and as a side note, I don't have even half of the debt of some students)! I am so excited to be going to school, to learn about something that will someday result in a career in which I can excel and provide for myself and my future family. But bloody hell, they dig you so far down into a pit with debt that the prospect of trying to pay it off is, to say the least, daunting. I'm not the only one who feels this way. Craig, my boyfriend, really struggles with the idea of having to pay off his school debt. He has a fantastic job at a local manufacturing company and makes a decent starting out salary, but there are things, such as living on his own and helping provide me with things, that he can't do because he has a huge amount of student debt. Then you pile on the interest of that debt and he's looking at at least 5 years to pay that off (for a year and a half of time that it took to get his degree), if he makes all his payments and lives like a poor church mouse. By next October (when my program finishes) I will be in the same boat, plus the funds I used while studying for 2 years at Dal.

This is why I'm stressed.

When I finish school I want to start my own photography business. I want to get married and have kids before I'm old. I want to see some parts of the world. I'd like to have a place to live, food to eat. I'd like to have a little bit of comfort. But instead I need to work my butt off to get my debt under control so I can actually try to do some of these things. I hope nobody is wondering why I'm stressed because I'm pretty sure that all of this could stress anybody out.

And you want to know what the cherry is on the top of the cake? As I sit here, typing madly away, I look out my window to my next door neighbours. They live in a dumpy apartment. They don't have the nicest things. Blah blah blah. But while I am working hard to try to be a productive member of society and make a place for myself in this world, do you know what they are doing?

Trafficing drugs. Not working. Drawing government welfare. Getting food at the local food bank. Smoking. Drinking. Sitting on their front step. Fighting. Making illigetiment children.

Granted, this sounds like a horrible way to live, but geez, they aren't starving. They get better TV and internet then I do. None of them are naked. They can do pretty much everything and anything they want. They're just drawing welfare, money that was put in place to help families get up on their feet and has now become something that you can get once you hit 18. Oh, and hey, the more kids you have, the more money you get! And the government doesn't care if you have them with your sister, a kid just equals more money.

I know probably most of you are thinking I'm a horrible person for saying that, but you can't deny that it is a problem. Not to mention the frustration that ensues for the rest of us that have to actually pay back thousands of dollars of stupid student debt for a career that we have no promise on.

I am so stressed. I'm very tempted to just build a little hut somewheres out in a field and eat berries and never deal with money again.

I hope I'm not the only one who feels this way.

So. Now I'm done with that rant. The moral of this post is, if you see me walking down the street, feel free to just shove fistfulls of money at me because I am a stressed out and poor student.

:)